One of my colleagues was aghast when I told her about posting my old college paper on my blog. She felt that it was a mistake for me to do so. After some thought, I have come to the conclusion that if a college student is able to find these posts, out of so many millions of posts on the web…go for it. If their professor is worth their salt, they will notice the difference between my writing style and their student’s.
This next post was (on a whim) written in support of the supposition that many single women today look for their “knight in shining armor”, the man who will come dashing into their life on a white horse and carry them away to his castle, where they will live happily ever after. What I find amusing is a complaint common to most young women today, and that the young man of today has no manners; he is selfish, tactless, infantile and boorish.
The Quest for a Perfect Grail: The Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome
Tantamount to the Battle of the Sexes and the Fight to Remain Young, is the quest of us all to find perfection in our mate.
- Many heterosexual women long to find the one man who is the epitome of what they alone term as perfection, generally feeling instead that reality will only give them a fraction of what they desire.
- The beginning of the search: Is every potential knight really a spectre of her father, as Freud had suspected?
- The dating period: Is the perspective suitor worthy of a symbol or two (perhaps three) of her love? Or is he simply another Black Knight waiting to snatch her and carry her screaming to his dark lair?
- The reality period: Now that reality has set in, and the persona of the mate has surfaced, what is our prince charming really like? Is he an ogre, or a knight deserving to sit at the round table?
Many heterosexual men long to find the one woman who is their idea of a perfect partner, generally choosing instead, a personality that is just as frustrated with them as they are with themselves.
- The beginning of the search: Must every lady who is well met, look as frail or take on the guise of Mother, as Freud suspected?
- The dating period: Has the damsel or lady quothed us a symbol of her love, something to fight for, or are we simply attracted to her ample qualities?
- The reality period: Now that reality has set in, is she supportive of our goals, or is our perception that she is really a wicked witch, intent on taking over our kingdom to rob us of our worldly possessions?
Both sexes often choose partners who are incompatible with them in regard to personality, height, weight, culture or interests in order to find what they feel others consider perfect.
- Natural vs. Logical selection of a mate, when we allow our perceptions are clouded by our own weaknesses and desires.
- Natural vs. Logical actions during courtship, the fight for attention.
- The reality of present-day marriage, our expectations vs. our realities and how they often clash.
The problem in finding that Knight in Shining Armor or Maiden in Distress is that akin to searching for the Holy Grail, we all must realize that our distortions and perceptions of reality play a key role in who we approach as a partner to grow old and eventually die with